I’ve Lived this Work

For years I looked like I had it all together: a 20‑year marriage, two wonderful kids, a career leading projects for global firms like Deloitte and Accenture. Underneath, though, I was burning out. I was anxious, stressed, and over‑functioning. I faked confidence while living a life that wasn’t truly mine. I had no boundaries and endured emotional abuse, yet I felt unable to share my struggles with family or friends.

Eventually, my relationship ended and the pressure of navigating the Australian Family Court system shattered the façade. Reading false allegations, seeing and experiencing a very different version of my former partner with whom I wanted to build a mutually satisfying future caused me cognitive dissonance, left me feeling helpless and vulnerable; the emotional toll broke me. Frequent interactions with lawyers and judicial registrars kept me in fight or flight for at least 3 years. I kept dumping cortisol into my body while I watched my bank account go from bad to worse. I felt disconnected from myself and made impulsive decisions. I wasn’t the most positive person to be around and people could sense it. With no money left, I had no choice but to represent myself in the Federal Family Court of Australia; I lived in fight / flight most days. I was forced to confront grief and shame, but also to heed a quiet call I could no longer ignore.

To rebuild, I immersed myself in studying high‑conflict personalities, trauma, the Rhythm of Regulation (Foundations of Polyvagal Informed Practice), Intimacy from the Inside Out, Non‑Violent Communication, Systemic Constellations, Shadow Work, and Energy Work. The real transformation happened through practices like Internal Family Systems, Somatic Experiencing, Tension and Stress Release Exercises (TRE), Compassionate Communication. By meeting parts of myself I’d avoided, I began to regulate my nervous system, integrate mind and body, slow down, and lead from a deeper place.

A trusted mentor who supports men in their maturation, along with men’s groups and retreats, helped me come back to myself, cultivate self-love and resilience. I set a goal to become more playful and now experience more joy and playfulness everyday. I’m grateful for the journey and what I’ve learned along the way. I have a vision for myself and align myself with that vision everyday.

I’ve trained professionally in the modalities that supported my recovery and now coach individuals and leadership teams around the world, including at organisations like INSEAD, McKinsey, Oliver Wyman, Deloitte, Google, Cisco, Caterpillar, Rio Tinto, BHP, Genentech and SAP.

I remain in the work—therapy, supervision and mentorship are ongoing—because growth is a lifelong practice. I’m not here to fix you; I’m here to walk beside you as you rediscover who you truly are and who you’re becoming.