Why You’re Closer to Suffering Burnout Than You Think
Introduction
Burnout rarely arrives all at once. It creeps in quietly, disguised as “just being busy” or “pushing through.” You may think you’re coping — but the truth is, you might already be edging outside your window of tolerance. When stress pushes us past that zone of balance, our nervous system becomes dysregulated, making rest feel impossible and pressure relentless. Without firm boundaries, the slide toward burnout accelerates. Recognising the signs early could be the difference between resilience and collapse.
What the Window of Tolerance Tells Us About Stress
The window of tolerance is the natural range in which your nervous system feels balanced and steady. Within this range, you can think clearly, regulate emotions, and set healthy boundaries. When you move outside it, two things can happen:
Hyperarousal: anxiety, irritability, restlessness, and constant overdrive. This looks like checking your phone at 2 AM even though you're exhausted, feeling your heart race during routine meetings, or snapping at loved ones over minor inconveniences. You might find yourself constantly scanning for the next task, unable to enjoy a meal without thinking about work, or feeling physically restless even when you desperately want to relax.
Hypoarousal: numbness, withdrawal, exhaustion, or shut down. This shows up as feeling emotionally flat during conversations that should matter to you, staring at your computer screen unable to start simple tasks, or feeling disconnected from activities you once enjoyed. You might notice yourself going through the motions at work, feeling like you're watching your life from the outside, or experiencing that heavy, "stuck" feeling that makes everything seem pointless.
Burnout warning signs appear when you stay outside your window of tolerance for extended periods—pushing productivity over rest and ignoring your body's increasingly urgent signals for recovery.
A Dysregulated System: The Hidden Cost of “Just Coping”
A dysregulated system doesn’t announce itself with dramatic symptoms. Instead, it masquerades as "normal" stress while quietly undermining your foundation.
Take Sarah, a marketing manager who thought she was handling her workload well. She was still meeting deadlines and showing up to meetings, but her body told a different story: she'd lie awake replaying conversations from three hours earlier, her shoulders stayed permanently hunched toward her ears, and she found herself holding her breath without realizing it. During her lunch breaks, instead of eating, she'd scroll social media feeling simultaneously wired and exhausted.
This is dysregulation in action:
Racing thoughts at night — your mind cataloguing tomorrow's tasks when you should be winding down
Constant physical tension — jaw clenching, shallow breathing, or that feeling like you're bracing for impact all day
"Always on" mode — finding it impossible to transition between work and rest, feeling guilty during downtime
Emotional volatility — small frustrations triggering disproportionate reactions, or conversely, feeling numb to things that should spark joy
You may still function at work or home, but your nervous system is operating like a car with the engine constantly revving. Over time, this chronic dysregulation depletes your cognitive reserves, weakens your immune system, and erodes your capacity for genuine connection — leaving you vulnerable to burnout even when you believe you're managing just fine.
Boundaries: Your First Line of Defense
Without clear boundaries, demands expand to fill every available space while recovery opportunities shrink to nothing. This isn't about dramatic overcommitments — it's about the seemingly small choices that compound over time.
Boundaries are not about withdrawal; they’re about creating enough space for your nervous system to return to its window of tolerance. Saying “no” or “not now” is not weakness — it’s survival.
Consider these subtle boundary erosions:
Checking "just one email" before bed becomes a 30-minute scroll through your inbox
Saying "sure, no problem" when a colleague asks for help, even though your plate is already full
Working through lunch "just today" becoming your default for weeks
Taking calls during your commute because it feels "efficient"
Each small compromise signals to others (and yourself) that your limits are negotiable. Soon, the exception becomes the rule, and your nervous system loses its natural recovery rhythms.
Real boundaries look different than you might think. They're not about building walls or becoming unavailable — they're about creating enough space for your nervous system to return to its window of tolerance. When you say "I'll get back to you tomorrow" instead of responding immediately, you're not being lazy — you're preserving the mental bandwidth needed for sustainable performance.
Practical Steps to Protect Your Window of Tolerance
Notice your triggers: Keep a simple log for three days. When do you feel your chest tighten or your thoughts start spiraling? Is it after specific types of meetings? When your phone buzzes after 8 PM? During transitions between tasks? Awareness is your starting point.
Set micro-boundaries: Start impossibly small. Try setting a hard stop time for work emails — even if it's just 15 minutes before bed. Or commit to eating lunch away from your computer twice this week. Small, consistent boundaries rebuild your tolerance better than dramatic changes that don't stick..
Practice nervous system resets: Develop a toolkit of 2-minute interventions. This might be five deep breaths with longer exhales, stepping outside to feel sun on your face, or doing gentle neck rolls. The key is consistency, not perfection.
Create transition rituals: Help your nervous system understand when work ends and rest begins. This could be changing clothes immediately when you get home, taking three minutes to write down tomorrow's priorities so they're out of your head, or playing the same playlist that signals "work is done."
Ask yourself daily: "Am I inside or outside my window of tolerance right now?" Notice without judgment. If you're outside, what's the smallest thing you can do to move back toward balance?
Know your restoration signs: Learn to recognize when you're back in your window of tolerance. You might notice your breathing naturally deepens, your shoulders drop, or you can listen to a friend's story without mentally preparing your response. These positive indicators are just as important as warning signs.
Conclusion
You may feel far from burnout, but signs of a dysregulated system and weakened boundaries suggest otherwise. The truth is, you're closer than you think. Burnout doesn't begin with collapse — it begins with ignoring the whispers of your nervous system, dismissing your body's early warning signals as "normal stress," and gradually accepting dysfunction as the price of productivity.
By honoring your window of tolerance and protecting your limits, you create the conditions not just to survive stress, but to thrive in the midst of it. Your nervous system is designed for resilience — but only when you work with it, not against it.
Ready to strengthen your resilience before burnout strikes? Connect with me for support in building healthier boundaries and restoring balance to your system.