The Reclaim Program

The Problem: Coercive control hijacks your nervous system. You might swing between hypervigilance and anxiety (sympathetic activation), numbness and shutdown (dorsal vagal collapse), with brief moments of feeling okay (ventral vagal safety). You're stuck in survival mode even when the threat is gone.

How It Helps: Polyvagal theory, developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, explains these nervous system states and the vagus nerve's role in regulating them. You'll learn to:

• Recognize which state you're in at any moment
• Understand why you react the way you do (it's physiology, not weakness)
• Use specific techniques to shift from shutdown or hyperarousal back to safety
• Rebuild your "social engagement system"—the capacity for connection and trust

In Practice: You'll learn breathwork, orienting exercises, and co-regulation techniques that activate the ventral vagal pathway—your body's natural calming and connection system.

The Problem: During coercive control, your instinct to fight back or escape was constantly suppressed. That survival energy got stuck in your body. Now you might feel chronically tense, have intrusive anger, or feel physically shut down—even when you're "safe."

How It Helps: Somatic Experiencing, developed by Dr. Peter Levine, works with your body's natural healing mechanisms. You'll:

• Track sensations in your body to understand how trauma is stored
• Titrate (work with small doses) to stay within your "window of tolerance"
• Complete interrupted defensive responses in a safe, gradual way
• Discharge bound survival energy through trembling, movement, or breath
• Reclaim healthy aggression and your capacity to protect yourself

In Practice: Through guided exercises, you'll learn to pendulate between activation (trauma energy) and resources (safety), gradually expanding your capacity to be present without overwhelm.

The Problem: You have competing voices inside: the part that blames you ("I should have been stronger"), the part that defends her ("Maybe she didn't mean it"), the part that's enraged, the part that's terrified. This internal war is exhausting and confusing.

How It Helps: IFS, developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz, views these voices as "parts"—distinct aspects of your psyche, each with positive intent. Rather than fighting them, you'll:

• Identify your parts and understand their roles (managers, firefighters, exiles)
• Hear what each part is trying to protect you from
• Help protective parts relax when they realize you're safer now
• Access your "Self"—the core you that's calm, curious, and compassionate
• Heal the wounded parts (exiles) carrying shame, fear, and pain

In Practice: Through guided parts work, you'll develop a compassionate relationship with all aspects of yourself, reducing internal conflict and accessing self-leadership.

The Problem: Coercive control didn't just hurt you psychologically—it affected every dimension of your life. Your physical health, your sense of meaning, your relationships, your identity as a man. You need a framework that addresses all of this, not just symptoms.

How It Helps: Integral Theory, developed by Ken Wilber and applied through New Ventures West coaching, maps human experience across multiple dimensions. You'll:

• Understand the four quadrants: interior/exterior and individual/collective
• Assess where trauma impacted specific "lines" of development (cognitive, emotional, somatic, interpersonal, spiritual)
• Identify which dimensions are strong and which need support
• Recognize how cultural conditioning (masculine norms) shaped your experience
• Create a holistic vision for your life that honors all aspects of who you are

In Practice: You'll map your development, clarify your values, and create a personalized plan that addresses healing across body, mind, relationships, and meaning—not just symptom reduction.