Free Resources
Guides, articles, and information to help you understand coercive control and begin your healing journey
The Male Victim's Guide: Understanding & Healing From Coercive Control
A comprehensive 20-page guide covering what coercive control is, why it's so hard to recognize, barriers men face seeking help, and first steps toward healing.
- What coercive control is and how it differs from other abuse
- Common tactics used against men (gaslighting, financial control, isolation)
- Why masculine norms make it harder to seek help
- How coercive control affects your nervous system
- Safety planning and documentation strategies
- Resources and next steps
PDF • 20 pages • 2.4 MB
Understanding Coercive Control
What Is Coercive Control?
A comprehensive explanation of coercive control as a pattern of behavior—not just isolated incidents. Learn the difference between arguments and systematic control.
Read ArticleAm I Experiencing Coercive Control? Self-Assessment
A 25-item checklist covering psychological, financial, technological, and social control tactics. Helps you identify patterns you might not have recognized as abuse.
Download Checklist10 Signs of Gaslighting in Male Victims
Gaslighting makes you question your own reality. Learn the specific ways perpetrators make men doubt their perceptions, memories, and sanity.
Read ArticleHow Coercive Control Weaponizes Masculinity
Understand how perpetrators exploit gender norms ("real men don't," "you're weak," "no one will believe you") to maintain control over male victims.
Read ArticleUnderstanding Coercive Control: A Video Introduction (8 min)
Watch this brief video explaining coercive control, common tactics, and why it's different from other forms of domestic violence.
Watch VideoFor Male Victims Specifically
Why Men Don't Leave: Understanding the Trap
Explore the unique barriers men face: shame about masculinity, fear of disbelief, concern about losing children, financial entanglement, and hope she'll change.
Read ArticleWhen She Says You're the Abuser: Navigating False Allegations
How to respond when your partner accuses you of being abusive, threatens to call police, or manipulates legal/social systems against you.
Read ArticleSafety Planning for Male Victims
Practical steps for staying safe during and after leaving an abusive relationship, including documentation, technology safety, and legal preparation.
Download GuideFinancial Abuse of Men: More Common Than You Think
Recognize financial control tactics including monitoring spending, limiting access to money, preventing work, and destroying credit.
Read ArticleCo-Parenting With Your Abuser: Protective Strategies
How to protect yourself and your children when you must maintain contact for co-parenting, including communication boundaries and legal considerations.
Read ArticleHealing & Recovery
Healing From Coercive Control: What Actually Works
Evidence-based approaches to healing including trauma therapy, somatic work, and why traditional talk therapy often isn't enough for male victims.
Read ArticleYour Body Remembers: Somatic Healing for Male Survivors
Understand how trauma lives in your nervous system and learn basic somatic techniques for regulation, grounding, and releasing stuck survival energy.
Read ArticleChallenging Self-Blame: A Workbook Exercise
Guided exercises to identify and reframe self-blaming thoughts like "I should have been stronger" or "I let this happen." Build self-compassion.
Download WorkbookDating After Abuse: Rebuilding Trust
How to recognize red flags, set boundaries, and navigate new relationships after experiencing coercive control. When are you ready to date again?
Read ArticleRebuilding Your Identity: Who Are You Beyond the Abuse?
Exercises and reflections for reconstructing your sense of self separate from "victim," "survivor," or the relationship you left.
Read ArticleNavigating Systems & Getting Help
Finding a Therapist Who Understands Male Victims
What to look for in a therapist, questions to ask, red flags that indicate they may not understand male victimization or coercive control.
Read ArticleDocumenting Abuse: What, How, and Why
Practical guidance on documenting coercive control for your own clarity, therapy, or potential legal use. Includes template and safety considerations.
Download GuideWhen Police Don't Believe You: Male Victims and Law Enforcement
Why male victims often face disbelief from police, how to increase chances of being taken seriously, and what to do if you're arrested instead.
Read ArticleNational & State Resources for Male Victims
Helplines, legal aid, shelters, and support services that serve male victims of domestic violence and coercive control.
Download ListRecommended Books & External Resources
"Coercive Control" by Evan Stark
The foundational academic text on coercive control as a pattern of behavior. Dense but essential reading for understanding the full framework.
View on Amazon"The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel van der Kolk
Essential reading on how trauma affects the body and nervous system. Explains why talk therapy alone often isn't enough.
View on Amazon"No Visible Bruises" by Rachel Louise Snyder
Investigative journalism on domestic violence that includes male victims and challenges stereotypes about who can be abused.
View on AmazonThe Mankind Initiative (UK)
UK charity providing support and information specifically for male victims of domestic abuse. Includes helpline and resources.
Visit Website"Love and Radio: The Living Room" Episode
Powerful audio documentary about a man's experience with an abusive partner. Illustrates how coercive control operates.
Listen to Episoder/AbuseInterrupted (Reddit)
Moderated subreddit community for survivors of abuse with good resources and support. Male victims welcomed and believed.
Visit Community🚨 In Crisis? Immediate Help
If you're in immediate danger, call 911. If you need to talk to someone right now:
- National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) • Text "START" to 88788 • Available 24/7 • Serves all genders
- National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988 • Available 24/7
- Crisis Text Line: Text "HELLO" to 741741 • Available 24/7
- RAINN Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 (HOPE) • Available 24/7
Safety note: If your devices are monitored, call from a secure phone or delete your browsing history.
Ready for More Than Resources?
These resources are a starting point. If you're ready for comprehensive, structured healing with support from other men who understand, the Reclaim program may be right for you.
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