Somatic Experiencing for Narcissistic Abuse Recovery
Introduction
Recovery from narcissistic or emotionally abusive relational dynamics is often framed as a cognitive or emotional process. Understanding what happened. Rebuilding confidence. Learning new relational skills.
For many people, that work is necessary but incomplete.
Long after the relationship ends, the body may still respond as if threat is ongoing. Hypervigilance. Emotional shutdown. Chronic anxiety. Digestive issues. Sleep disturbance. A persistent sense of unsafety that does not resolve through insight alone.
This is where Somatic Experiencing (SE) becomes particularly relevant.
Somatic Experiencing is a body-based trauma therapy that works directly with the nervous system. Rather than focusing primarily on the story of relational harm, it supports the body to resolve how prolonged relational threat was encoded physiologically and to relearn safety, choice, and agency.
The term “narcissistic abuse” is used here descriptively to refer to patterns of relational harm and their impact, not as a clinical diagnosis of any individual.
When relational harm becomes a nervous system injury
Narcissistic and emotionally abusive dynamics are often characterised by chronic, relationally embedded stress rather than single traumatic events.
Patterns such as gaslighting, emotional unpredictability, coercive control, and intermittent reinforcement can condition the nervous system to remain on constant alert. Over time, many individuals experience symptoms associated with complex trauma, including:
Persistent fight or flight activation such as anxiety, irritability, or panic
Freeze or collapse responses including numbness, dissociation, or exhaustion
Difficulty trusting internal signals like intuition, hunger, or emotional limits
Somatic symptoms such as headaches, gastrointestinal issues, or chronic pain
These responses are not character flaws or psychological weaknesses. They are adaptive nervous system responses shaped by repeated relational threat.
Somatic Experiencing works with these adaptations at the level where they formed, the autonomic nervous system.
What is Somatic Experiencing?
Somatic Experiencing is a trauma therapy developed by Peter Levine, grounded in psychophysiology, neuroscience, and the observation that trauma symptoms arise when the nervous system is unable to complete natural defensive responses.
Unlike approaches that rely on repeated retelling of traumatic experiences, SE focuses on:
Present-moment bodily sensations
Gradual restoration of nervous system flexibility
Safe discharge of stored survival energy
Building capacity for regulation rather than emotional catharsis
The goal is not to relive relational harm, but to renegotiate its physiological imprint.
Why Somatic Experiencing is well suited to narcissistic abuse recovery
Many people recovering from narcissistic or emotionally abusive relationships report that insight alone does not resolve their distress.
They understand what happened. They recognise the patterns. Yet their body continues to react as if danger is imminent.
Somatic Experiencing is particularly effective in this context because it:
Does not require diagnosing or analysing the other person
Does not depend on confrontation or re-exposure
Respects the nervous system’s protective strategies
Works without requiring detailed narrative recall
SE meets survivors where the trauma lives, in automatic bodily responses rather than conscious thought.
Many people also find it helpful to combine this nervous system work with a parts-based approach such as Internal Family Systems, which explores how protective patterns develop in response to relational harm.
Core mechanisms of Somatic Experiencing in abuse recovery
Restoring nervous system regulation
Chronic emotional harm can keep the nervous system locked in survival mode.
Somatic Experiencing helps individuals track subtle physiological cues such as breath, muscle tone, internal movement, or temperature. By gently guiding attention to these sensations, SE supports the nervous system to move out of fight, flight, freeze, or collapse and return to a more regulated baseline.
As regulation improves, people often report better sleep, reduced anxiety, fewer somatic symptoms, and an increased sense of internal safety.
Trauma renegotiation rather than re-traumatisation
SE works with trauma through titration, approaching activation in very small, manageable doses.
Rather than reliving overwhelming experiences, the nervous system is supported to touch into activation and then return to safety. Over time, this allows incomplete defensive responses to resolve without flooding or overwhelm.
This is especially important for individuals whose nervous systems learned that expressing anger, setting boundaries, or leaving was unsafe.
Rebuilding interoception and embodied self-trust
Narcissistic and emotional abuse often erode trust in one’s own perceptions.
Somatic Experiencing supports recovery by strengthening interoception, the capacity to accurately sense and interpret internal bodily signals.
As individuals learn to notice internal sensations without being overwhelmed by them, the body becomes a reliable source of information again. This supports discernment, boundary awareness, and relational safety going forward.
Restoring agency and choice
One of the most corrosive effects of relational harm is the loss of agency.
Somatic Experiencing consistently reinforces choice. Choice about pacing. Choice about attention. Choice about when to pause or stop.
At a nervous system level, this rebuilds a felt sense of autonomy that cognitive reassurance alone cannot restore.
How Somatic Experiencing and Internal Family Systems work together
Somatic Experiencing and Internal Family Systems are often used together in trauma-informed work because they address different aspects of the same recovery process.
Somatic Experiencing focuses on how trauma lives in the nervous system. It supports the body to release survival responses and restore physiological regulation.
Internal Family Systems focuses on how relational harm shapes internal dynamics. It helps individuals understand protective strategies, inner conflicts, and wounded parts without pathologising them.
In practice, somatic regulation often creates the conditions that make parts work safer and more effective. When the nervous system is regulated, people can approach vulnerable internal experiences with greater clarity, compassion, and choice.
For a complementary, parts-based perspective on recovery from relational harm, read
Internal Family Systems for Narcissistic Abuse Recovery.
Can Somatic Experiencing help during ongoing relational harm?
Ideally, trauma processing occurs once safety has been established. However, some individuals remain in contact with harmful family members or former partners due to practical constraints.
In these situations, Somatic Experiencing focuses on stabilisation rather than trauma processing. The emphasis is on:
Grounding and regulation strategies
Reducing cumulative nervous system overload
Preserving internal agency and orientation to safety
This work helps prevent further trauma accumulation and supports clearer decision-making.
Early recovery after leaving the relationship
Once a harmful relationship ends, many people experience delayed nervous system responses. Anxiety spikes, emotional flooding, or physical symptoms may intensify as the body exits survival mode.
Somatic Experiencing prioritises stabilisation first, building internal and external resources before engaging traumatic material. This pacing supports sustainable healing and reduces the risk of re-traumatisation.
Research on SE shows significant reductions in trauma-related symptoms, alongside improvements in emotional regulation and quality of life when applied in a structured, trauma-informed way.
Long-term integration and post-traumatic growth
In later stages of recovery, the focus shifts from symptom reduction to integration.
People often report:
Increased tolerance for emotional intensity
Greater ease in relationships
Clearer boundary awareness
A renewed sense of vitality and embodiment
Traumatic memories no longer hijack the nervous system. The body becomes a source of information and strength rather than threat.
What Somatic Experiencing does not do
Somatic Experiencing:
Does not diagnose personality disorders
Does not require confrontation or re-engagement
Does not rely on emotional catharsis
Does not push the nervous system beyond its capacity
The focus remains on the survivor’s physiology, agency, and healing timeline.
A trauma-informed note
This article is intended for educational purposes only and does not replace personalised therapeutic support. It does not diagnose individuals or relationships. Experiences of relational harm exist on a spectrum, and recovery is deeply personal.
Working with a qualified, trauma-informed practitioner can provide essential support.
Final reflection
Healing from narcissistic or emotionally abusive relational dynamics is not about becoming tougher or more guarded.
It is about restoring sensitivity without overwhelm. Discernment without hypervigilance. Connection without self-abandonment.
Somatic Experiencing offers a pathway for the body to learn, at a physiological level, that danger has passed and choice has returned.
A gentle next step
If this article resonates, you do not need to decide anything today.
I work directly with clients, both online and in person, supporting people:
In Inner North Melbourne (Thornbury)
In South-East Melbourne (Elsternwick)
Across Australia and globally via online sessions
I offer a complimentary 20-minute chemistry session, booked directly with me, not through Melbourne Integrated Therapies or any third-party clinic. This conversation is simply a chance to see whether we are a good fit for each other and whether this way of working feels appropriate for where you are right now.
You are welcome to come unsure.
You are welcome to come conflicted.
You are welcome to come without answers.
You can schedule a complimentary chemistry session directly with me here:
https://www.rudidoku.com/consult-call
There is no obligation to continue. Only an opportunity to orient, ask questions, and sense whether this feels right in your body.